Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she peed on how many people?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
