I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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