you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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