My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
