She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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