if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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