I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
