They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
