Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize