hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize