she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize