whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
