Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
