You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
