I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Someone shit on the floor
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
