What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
