this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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