No subtext here. People are naked.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
