BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
