he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
