Do you still have your period?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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