i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize