You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
