I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
