Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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