I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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