Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
