Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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