So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
