I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
