Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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