I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
