just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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