I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
