If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
