She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
