Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
