You work out of a Hotel?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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