You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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