38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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