It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
