I could make wine with my vomit
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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