I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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