yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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