Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
