Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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