Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
