I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
