she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
