Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
