apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
