you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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