I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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