I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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