in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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