it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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