I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
