CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
