no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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