Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
