There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
