I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
