grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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