Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
