Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
