pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
