For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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