I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
