im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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