there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
