another moral hangover. fuck.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
