when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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