using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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