my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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