Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize