i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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