there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize