You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
